I stare at the WhatsApp message for what feels like eternity, but I doubt more than 5 seconds elapse. I snap back.
Why would my Mom not be okay? What happened? And why am I learning about it through a friend living abroad, and not from my Mom herself, or my Dad, or my Aunt, or the very few friends I still have in Lebanon.
I call my Mom. The call drops instantly. So do the calls to my Dad and my Aunt. It is unusual that all three calls drop. I get a sinking feeling. Something major must have happened.
The primary details are hazy.
I call again. First, my Mom. Then my Aunt. And after that, my Dad. No answer.
An explosion at the Port of Beirut.
I try calling a third time. And, for the third time, all three calls drop at once.
Terrifying, black, thick smoke emanates from the explosion site.
I lost count of the call attempts. Maybe twenty, maybe thirty, maybe forty. My message finally goes through.
A lot of speculations regarding what happened make the rounds.
My call goes through as well. Mom answers. She is physically fine. She was in the kitchen, next to the windows which, thankfully, didn’t break. The windows are old, they don’t close properly. She was sitting down when The Thing happened. She found herself on the floor.
I try not to read much into the speculations, but it is hard not to. Almost impossible.
My Aunt is physically fine. She is at Mom’s place at the time of The Thing and is getting ready to go back to her place. She decides to stay a bit longer at Mom’s. My Aunt’s route passes nearby the Port. Had she not stayed for a bit longer…
Information starts to trickle down.
My Dad answers my call. He is physically fine.
One video of the explosion from ground-zero.
It is time to answer back my friend. I ask him about his family. All are physically fine.
More videos from ground-zero.
I message my friends in Lebanon. All are physically fine. I message my Lebanese friends abroad. Their families are physically fine.
Videos from the streets closest to the Port.
I receive messages from my non-Lebanese friends, in Switzerland and abroad. I dutifully reply to them: my family is physically fine.
Videos showing the explosion creeping up on unsuspecting people.
The fourth of August. The night was a haze. The next morning and the next few days as well. More messages. More “my family is physically fine, thanks for asking”. Autopilot. All autopilot.
The scale is unfathomable. Deaths. Kids. Women. Men. Humans. Lebanese. Non-Lebanese. Under the rubble. Missing limbs. Comas. Overwhelmed hospitals. The Lebanese Red Cross working day in, day out. Blood donation campaigns. Fundraising efforts. Livelihoods. Pets. Animals. More videos. More photos. More speculations.
Autopilot. Laboratory work. Sadness. Writing paper drafts. Doom-scrolling. Going to work. Pushing through. Always.
I have always considered myself a dog person. My family adopted Cookie, the first, and only, family dog, in December 2005. Her adoption was completely circumstantial. A friend of a friend of a friend’s son tragically passed away, leaving a young cocker spaniel without a home.
All three of her temporary guardians told us she was too difficult to deal with. That she had behavioral issues. That those problems cannot be fixed. Cookie’s first six months with us were difficult. She was very fearful, and she kept having accidents indoors. But with time, a lot of patience and love, she gained our trust and her behavioral issues slowly faded away.
Cookie passed away in 2018. It took a full year to accept that she was gone and to think about her fondly, without instantly becoming a crying mess. Her passing was my first experience with death. In the first two years after her passing, every dog, every dog picture, and every mention of a dog reminded me of Cookie. It was uncharted territory. Thankfully, with time, the grief lessened and was more manageable.
Pets bring a lot of happiness and laughter, and providing them with a safe, forever home is the absolute minimum I can do for them. In 2020, I felt ready to adopt again, despite the inevitable pain that comes from being responsible for another being. Even though I knew I wanted to adopt a pet, I wasn’t sure about which. A rabbit? Pet mice? Guinea pigs? A cat?
Cats? Me?!
I never liked cats.
Let me rephrase that: prior to 2018, I had never had interactions with cats that led me to believe that cats and I would get along. I thought that cats, unlike dogs, were detached creatures. Cats were unpredictable. Cats were too independent. Cats weren’t playful. Cats this. Cats that.
Over the next few years, I got more and more familiar with cats. From Twitter, which has an extremely friendly and active cat community focusing on cat welfare and cat enrichment. From Reddit, especially the cat-oriented advice subreddits. From unowned cats, including one friendly orange cat in Beirut, who decided I made the perfect bed. From friends with cats, who were sharing their cats’ antics and adorable photos.
My face captures the exact moment I experienced the sharpness of Farm Cat’s claws.
Friendly unowned cat at the AUB beach (Beirut, Lebanon). Mikki, Miranda, George and Tyler. A friend’s lovely misfits.
Cats seem friendly, inquisitive, affectionate. They thrive on routine and could even be trained (to get into their carriers, for examples). I started questioning what I thought I knew: was it all a misconception?
What if cats scratch because they’re scared, and not because they’re “moody”? What if cats are friendly, provided they feel secure, and their boundaries respected? What if cats have very particular ways of signaling they’re up for a play or petting session? What if treating cats as cats, and not as dogs, was key to successfully bonding with humans, other cats and even dogs?
Everything I knew about cats was wrong. And I am so glad I realized it as it allowed me to adopt the best cats one could ever ask for (but I am biased): Lilly and Mascha.
Lilly and Mascha
A friend of my mother-in-law shared an adoption advert about two cats, Lilly the tabby, and Mascha the calico. They had recently lost their guardian and were looking for their forever home. Their personalities were described as starkly different: Lilly was the curious and active one, while Mascha was rather shy and needed time to trust people.
Lilly and Mascha were extremely shy when we visited them at their foster home. I remember a vague cat-shaped blob behind a cupboard, which turned out to be Lilly. Mascha was nowhere to be found. However, their foster told us that she noticed a lot of improvements (!) between the first day of fostering and the day we visited. This made me realize that with time, patience, kindness and respect, there was hope to bring the cats out of their shell.
We decided to go for adopting them to see if it’s a right fit. This was particularly important to me as I didn’t have any close contact with cats before, much less lived with them!
To prepare for their adoption, I binge-read Zazie Todd’s brilliant, informative and fun book Purr: The Science of Making Your Cat Happy in one sitting! That book, together with Lili Chin’s Cats Need…, were crucial in getting us and the house cat-ready.
Our First Month Together
I got very little to no sleep the first two weeks of the cats being home. The mix of unfamiliarity, misconceptions about cats and, let’s face it, me being me meant that I would not be able to relax until I knew things were okay.
Being so unfamiliar with cats, I kept asking myself (and others!) questions that right now seem absurd.
Can the cat open the windows? (No!)
Will they bite my feet when I sleep? (No!)
Will they drop dead in a second?! (Usually not…)
Why is Mascha breathing weirdly? (That’s just purring)
Why did the cats eat 10 grams less than the other day? (Since this is a negligible change, it is not a cause for worry)
And so many more questions. I called the veterinary many times, including a few calls to the emergency veterinarian clinic. Both clinics eased my worries and reassured me that it’s always better to call than not.
Lilly sort of hiding. Mascha behind the living room dresser.Mascha on the living room dresser.
Mascha and Lilly playing with their catnip banana toys!
During the first month, the cats spent a lot of times hiding. Behind dressers. On dressers. Under the bed. Behind the couch. As expected, Lilly was the curious one and Mascha the shyer one. The photo on the left is the first I took of them, a few minutes after adoption.
We were not seeing much of the cats during the day but they were extremely active during the night (which was not a surprise as cats are nocturnal animals!). Lilly and Mascha were exploring their new home, eating, and playing together (mostly chasing after one another).
We had a lot of breakthroughs with the cats over the past year. One event particularly stands out: five days after their adoption, both Mascha and Lilly played with their catnip banana toys in the open, with both of us in the room! Even though I knew that with time, the cats will feel more comfortable with us, it was very lovely to see—and so soon after adoption. You can find the video of them playing with the banana toys on the left.
Forming a Solid Bond is a Continuous Process
With time, Lilly and Mascha got more confident, and so did I around them. With confidence came trust, and with trust, a bond developed. The bond was strengthened by routine. Cats became a part of the family—as opposed to strangers living with us.
The more I read about the cat behavior and enrichment, the more aware I was about Lilly and Mascha’s cues. Recognizing and acting on cues is crucial for understanding how cats communicate with humans and with one another. For example, learning when to stop a play or petting session (well before over-stimulation) was key to me never getting scratched.
Forming a solid bond between two living beings is a continuous, long-term process.
Getting familiar with their needs, their personalities, their likes and dislikes, meant being able to make constant improvements. For example, upgrading the litter boxes to the maximal size we could find stopped Lilly’s outside-the-box accidents. Using pheromone diffusers drastically improved Lilly and Mascha’s relationship with one another.
What Is Next?
The first year was mostly about the cats settling in and them learning about us and vice-versa. As we enter the second year, the plan is to:
learn how to cut the cats’ nails at home.
incorporate food puzzles in daily feedings.
get them more accustomed to casual handling.
Group activity: hunting the mouse.The cat trap is working!Group activity: snoozing. Lilly and her cat tree.Mascha and her cat tree.(yes, that is fresh laundry)Catxistential crisis…Catortionist. Hehe.“Do tell more about catnip”, Lilly, probably.
Three Pieces of Advice
It takes time, patience, and kindness to form a solid bond with cats (and any other pet, really). If you have newly adopted pets, please give them time to get settled in their new environment. Some pets, like Mascha and Lilly, can take much longer than others. In my opinion, the more important predictor of success is steady, small improvements. Any sign of regressive behavior must be addressed immediately.
If you are looking to adopt or foster cats, the best thing you can do for them is realize that the biggest lie is that “cats need minimal care, they’re not like dogs!” NO. Stop right there. You are wrong. Don’t listen to this extremely misinformed advice as it is asking for behavioral problems. Realize that cats are their own entities, separate from dogs, and that they have very particular and individual needs.
The second-best thing you can do is to get informed. There is a LOT of information out there. Knowing where to look, and how to spot misinformation, is key. From experience, most of the misinformation about cats is related to their enrichment needs, their dietary requirements and to their health. Attributing cats’ problems to them being “just assholes” undermines them and their needs, and is very harmful and stressful (for both cats and humans!).
Resources and Other Readings
Sharing essential resources and readings that were key to preparing me for the adoption of Lilly and Mascha and, subsequently, to creating and strengthening our bond and their enrichment, and maintaining a happy cat-home.
I have 14 years of academic education and academic research experience, and I am very well versed into the standard Curriculum Vitae (CV) expectations in academia. I draw on this experience to support you with your academic CV for free.
who are you?
Lebanese students (wherever you are based worldwide) and students currently residing in Lebanon (no matter your nationality).
what I can do for you
I will read your CV and provide feedback about what, in my personal experience, might improve your CV. I will also point out typos and possible formatting issues. Feedback will be twofold: on the document itself and in my email to you.
what I will not do for you
I will not rewrite your CV in any shape or form.
how to contact me regarding your CV?
Please contact me at contactATncdiaschneebeliDOTcom with the subject “CV review + (first name)” and your CV in Word or/and PDF formats.
In this first blog post, I will share what’s new and what’s coming.
I now have a new domain to reflect my new composite last name!
As it turns out, I cannot change the name of my former domain, which will remain active until August 2023. I plan on migrating some of the information I had on there, after a much needed update.
realistic and incremental goals
When I started my former website, I very optimistically hoped I would figure things out instantly. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t. The result? A very unpopulated former blog. My new goals are hopefully realistic and incremental:
realistic My main goal is to write. I love writing but have put it off for the longest time because of unrealistic self-expectations. My recalibrated goal is to start slowly but surely, starting by publishing this post and sharing it on my socials.
incremental I aim at building things slowly, at experimenting with writing non-scientific and non-academic texts and at exploring what’s out there.
new motto
to think less about doing things and do them instead.
If you’d like to keep up-to-date with what this next adventure takes me, please subscribe below!
Sometimes I feel that people think “proofreading and editing” is one of those things that anyone can do, that’s a good fall-back position if you’re looking around for something to bring in a few pounds. I think it’s a common misconception that if someone is well-read and good at spelling, that’s going to transfer into something out of which they can make a career. There is a bit more to it than that, and as I’ve had several people ask about it, it’s got to the point where it feels useful to put something down that I can direct future enquirers to. So, if you’re thinking about being a proofreader and you don’t know quite what it entails, read on …
Get your terms right
If you think you want to be “a proofreader” then you probably don’t know what one is. Sorry to be blunt! But a proofreader is…
NC Dia-Schneebeli 
